Brian
Brian kicked things off by exposing Macy as Richmond’s newest Fast & Furious recruit. What started as “I got a speeding ticket” quickly escalated into “they impounded my car,” followed immediately by a shattered iPhone screen. An expensive life lesson later — roughly a thousand dollars’ worth — Brian was mostly relieved nobody was hurt and impressed Macy could apparently finance her own “gap year in traffic violations.”

Mary Lou
Mary Lou had the perfect Mother’s Day: chicken and waffles, family brunch, and T-ball — basically the Hallmark movie starter pack. She also shared updates from Rotary world: Georgina Paco is currently walking 770 km on the Camino because apparently casual vacations are overrated, and Jackie Lee’s mother sadly passed away at 98. Mary Lou also gave a big shoutout to the Pathways fundraiser and the auction committee for producing numbers everyone was thrilled about.

Sandra
Sandra attended the Kids fundraiser and came away with two conclusions: our auction committee is elite-level organized, and comparison really does make you appreciate what you have. She also gave major compliments to the Gharra family and Riverside for the fantastic food.

Bobby
Bobby also survived the Kids gala experience, describing it as absolute chaos with 1,600 people all trying to do 16 things at once. He was looking forward to the Pathways fundraiser and wished everyone a calmer week than the one he just endured.

Debbie S.
Debbie celebrated her 40th anniversary with John — congratulations! — but discovered the club bulletin had apparently invented an entirely fictional version of their weekend. She appreciated the creativity and mainly wanted to know whether imaginary attendance still counts for makeup credits.

Melinda
Melinda delivered what can only be described as the unfiltered director’s commentary on the Kids gala. Highlights included spending 45 minutes obtaining 50/50 tickets, discovering credit-card 50/50 systems apparently don’t include “giving money back,” and watching an MC attempt to silence 1,600 people by yelling “RESPECT PEOPLE!” into a microphone while they were actively drinking. She declared Brian Cole the superior MC and suggested Rotarians may not actually be as diplomatic as previously advertised. She also attended a Mel Robbins event and somehow ran into half of Richmond while waiting for a Starbucks washroom.

John
John observed that the club had been unusually quiet lately — specifically from people who are normally never quiet. He then proudly shared that his grandson Jax received the Linda Reynolds Friendship Award in hockey for sportsmanship, positivity, and teamwork. Rotary members melted appropriately.

Lawrence
Lawrence had a wholesome Mother’s Day walk at McDonald Beach where they ran into Chris and Maddie. He also discovered his son’s new bike-to-school initiative may have unintentionally created Richmond’s next Tour de France contender. Lawrence barely got the car started before his son disappeared around the corner at top speed.

Chuck Norris or Whoever
Chuck attended a Vancouver Coastal Health webinar and came away surprisingly optimistic about healthcare developments in Richmond. He promised to share the recording, proving once again that even Chuck Norris spends evenings on Zoom calls.

Susan
Susan hinted that she has enough stories for an entire Netflix mini-series but decided to save them for another day. She gave heartfelt praise to the guest speaker and reflected on meeting them during the Chamber of Commerce Business Excellence Awards judging process, describing it as an incredibly difficult decision because of the quality of candidates.

Elena
Elena delivered perhaps the morning's most memorable story: their dog accidentally ate marijuana at the park and promptly became the canine equivalent of a university student at a music festival. Panic ensued, emergency vet visits followed, and after several stressful hours, the dog thankfully recovered. Elena concluded that after two board meetings, a dental meeting, and one intoxicated dog, she was ready for a quieter week.

Michael
Michael reported that his daughter made the Dean’s Honour Roll, quietly shocking the entire family with just how brilliant she apparently is. He also escaped to Whistler with his wife and mother-in-law for Mother’s Day and described it as a much calmer experience than the Kids gala.

Danny
Danny returned from a rainy Alaska cruise and was already preparing for his next adventure to Japan, the Philippines, and Dubai “to check his billboard.” Casual world-tour energy from Danny as always.

Maryam
Maryam remains in an ongoing battle with her knee and declared dry needling firmly in the “would not recommend” category after nearly collapsing at Bobby’s house during the board meeting. She also shared positive news about track and field day, where students had a fantastic time and — in a shocking upset — no teachers were yelled at.

Jeanette
Jeanette encouraged everyone to sign up for the fireside and shared positive news from Nurses Week, announcing a strong union vote result of 90.2% in favour. She also gently reminded everyone that Bobby’s board meetings continue to ignore all known concepts of time and routinely stretch past four hours.

Chris Morin
Chris offered the solution to marathon board meetings: a Prince George Rotary president who held every meeting at 7 AM with no food, no alcohol, and no meeting lasting more than an hour. The room reacted as though he’d proposed military school.

Peachy
Peachy reported being completely exhausted from juggling multiple organizations, Nurses Week activities, and BNI meetings, while also celebrating that her son is spending six weeks in the Philippines — much to her parents’ delight.

Larry
Larry shared that Steve is finally cleared to drive his Audi after surgery, which may or may not have been the real reason for the surgery in the first place. He also confessed to accidentally winning a major gala prize package after trying to “encourage bidding,” only to discover his wife had absolutely no interest in theatre, limos, or upscale dining. Larry’s solution: turn it into a 10-person work party and declare victory anyway.

Pat 
Pat took her tax accountant to lunch at Bacchus Bistro at Chaberton Winery and highly recommended it despite the lengthy Langley drive. She also defended the length of the board meeting by pointing out they hadn’t met since March — basically arguing that four hours was efficient under the circumstances.

Eleanor
Eleanor bravely introduced herself despite insisting she is shy and prefers silent auction duties specifically because they involve silence. She reflected on seven years of volunteering with Rotary and thanked John for introducing her to the organization. Despite her nerves, she spoke beautifully and earned warm encouragement from the group.

Dalbir
Dalbir shared that Blair’s brother had sadly passed away after battling illness for several years. He also noted that Bobby apparently experiences cardiac distress anytime Dalbir suggests expensive lunches or dinners, which included recent visits to The Roof, Victor’s, and Seasons in the Park.

Marg
Marg attended a modernized production of Sense and Sensibility at White Rock Theatre complete with contemporary music and rave reviews. She also enjoyed a memorable Mother’s Day, highlighted by receiving four bunches of tulips from her son Ben — his first Mother’s Day gift in 34 years, which she considered excellent progress.

Kal
Kal returned from an Alaska cruise and immediately attended a loud Punjabi wedding reception featuring midnight food, plenty of drinks, and enough energy to power Richmond for a week. He declared it one of the best receptions he’d attended in years.

Debbie T.
President Debbie confirmed Melinda’s review of the Kids gala was entirely accurate and described the evening as wonderfully charitable but gloriously disorganized. She also participated in a Rotary parade in Coquitlam with the Dream Car, accidentally smoked out half the children along the parade route, and attached a giant Jellycat toy to the back of the vehicle — which turned out to be the true star of the parade.

She wrapped up with a public service announcement reminding everyone to carry naloxone kits for pets as well as humans because dogs apparently make terrible lifestyle decisions when unattended near brownies.