Sergeant-at-Arms Report: Summer Has Officially Become a Competitive Sport
It was another busy week for our Rotary members, proving once again that nobody in this club actually knows how to relax. Between weddings, birthdays, family reunions, soccer, parades, golf, travel, grandkids, wine, cheese, smoke and the occasional 300-pound football player, there was plenty to report.
Here’s what our members have been up to:
Chris M. — Birthday, Wedding and Babysitting… All in One Weekend
Chris had what can only be described as a very ambitious social calendar. After representing UWC at GM with a table presentation, she returned home just in time for a 150th birthday celebration involving about 150 people.
And because apparently a birthday party wasn’t enough, it turned into a surprise wedding! At least for the guests.
The backyard became a wedding venue, granddaughter Eleanor became the flower girl, and Chris while getting married to Rod spent much of the ceremony trying to prevent Eleanor from performing her duties too early. Eleanor apparently spent a good portion of the event asking, “Is it time for the job yet?”
When the moment finally arrived, she marched up with her basket of rose petals… and saved every single one until she reached the front.
Chris has also been enjoying plenty of grandchild time and was expecting visitors from Hong Kong. Her solution to all this activity? “I’m going to rest.”
Good luck with that.
Mary Lou — Wine, Lavender and a Cabin That May or May Not Still Exist
Mary Lou enjoyed coffee, wineries, and lavender. The cabin, based on the security cameras, was apparently still standing.
She also attended Chris’s epic birthday/wedding and was preparing for Oscar’s return after three weeks away in the camper.
There was some discussion about whether the camper required a hazmat team before Oscar moved back in.
Apparently, summer camping builds character.
Gordon — A Rotary Club in Mexico Has Met Its Match
Gordon had high praise for Nikki and the incredible job she has done taking another Rotary club to a new level of service and support.
He also shared some history about the relationship between the clubs, including a rather complicated split that apparently involved somebody being fired.
Gordon wisely decided not to get into the details.
A wise choice. Rotary meetings have enough drama already.
He also had a busy week with relatives visiting from Calgary and London. Clearly, Gordon’s house has become the unofficial international Rotary guesthouse.
John — Socks, Football Players and the Return of the Looney
John’s socks came from a firemen’s golf tournament, although exactly how the socks came into the story seemed to be a mystery even to John.
He also attended his sister and brother-in-law’s combined 140th birthday celebration and reminisced about family connections dating back decades.
Then came the big moment: Garth finally paid John the loonie he owed him.
After all these years, justice has been served.
John also encountered two enormous UBC football players while visiting his sister. Having played offensive centre himself in the 1970s, John was able to compare himself with today’s players.
The conclusion?
Apparently the players are now slightly larger.
John and Garth were also off golfing, followed by a trip to the Okanagan—although the smoke situation may determine how long that trip lasts.
Garth — Apparently There Was Golf
Garth’s report was somewhat abbreviated, but there was mention of Old Town, rehearsals, appetizers, music and speeches.
And then, of course, golf.
At this point, if Garth reports that he spent the week doing anything other than golfing, we may need independent verification.
Blair — The Drone Show That Never Was
Blair was also out enjoying the festivities and was hoping to see a drone show.
Unfortunately, the weather had other plans.
The group arrived, waited around and eventually learned that the drone show had been cancelled.
So, after all that effort, they got to watch the greatest drone show of all: absolutely nothing.
Brian — The Family Reunion That Refused to End
Brian and his dad travelled to Winnipeg and Brampton for a massive family reunion.
There was golf, family history, old homes, university memories and—most importantly—a lot of food.
The reunion featured approximately 65 relatives sitting around together, followed by dinner Saturday, breakfast Sunday, a pool party Sunday afternoon, dinner Sunday night and breakfast Monday morning.
Brian’s reaction was essentially:
“I had an amazing time. Now I’m going home to sit alone.”
After that much family, we can hardly blame him.
Marg — France, Football, Wine and the World's Best Cheese
Marg spent two weeks in France without air conditioning and somehow survived.
Her days followed a strict French holiday routine:
Get up. Buy baguette and cheese. Visit another beautiful town. Drink wine. Repeat.
She also visited museums, including one featuring Matisse, and enjoyed watching FIFA matches in French bars and restaurants.
The atmosphere was apparently incredible—although during one match, the reaction to something involving Trump was apparently louder than the reaction to the goal.
The trip home included waiting for a procession of roughly 100 Spanish supporters, complete with flags, cheering and flares.
And Ben discovered an important culinary truth:
When you eat fabulous French blue cheese, it doesn't need to be grilled.
Honestly, Marg may have discovered the Rotary Club's next fundraising opportunity.
Kal — Birthday Dinner and the Perfect Summer
Kal visited his brothers and then headed up to Squamish for an 80th birthday dinner.
His conclusion?
“Can’t get any better this summer.”
That sounds suspiciously like someone who has figured out the secret to Rotary reporting: keep it short and make everyone else feel like they’re not having enough fun.
Debbie M. — Working Hard, But Grandchildren Keep Interfering
Debbie described her summer as mostly work—which she is thankful for—but she has managed to squeeze in some “adventure days” with her granddaughter.
These included a trip to the aquarium and a visit to Kelowna.
It sounds like Debbie is learning an important grandparenting rule:
You may have a job, but apparently the grandchildren have a more interesting schedule.
Judy — Memories, Grandchildren and the Sweet Smell of Grandma
Judy was still enjoying the memories from Chris’s birthday/wedding celebration and reflected on the many years she has known Chris and her family.
She also revealed that her oldest granddaughter is turning 16, which naturally led to the realization that Judy is getting older.
Fortunately, grandchildren have a way of making us feel young again—usually immediately before making us exhausted.
One of her grandchildren even arrived at her house and declared that it smelled like “Grandma.”
She was also heading to the Okanagan for a few days and hoping the fires and smoke would cooperate.
Sandra — 120 Relatives and a New Bicycle Champion
Sandra returned from Whistler after spending time with 120 family members.
She described it as “organized chaos,” which is probably the most accurate possible description of a gathering involving 120 relatives.
There were bike rides, children, rain, cold weather and plenty of family fun.
One of the highlights was watching a grandchild progress from riding with assistance to confidently riding on his own.
Apparently, the little guy has now officially joined the cycling ranks.
Sandra also pointed out that, when given the choice between rain and wildfire smoke, rain suddenly becomes a pretty attractive vacation feature.
Melinda — Unicorns, Ice Cream and a Very Particular Wedding Caterer
Melinda had a week involving grandchildren, unicorns, ice cream and lollipops.
Naturally, the highlight was the ice cream.
She also attended a soccer match where Canada lost to Mexico, which was less enjoyable.
She helped out at Chris’s birthday/wedding and praised Chris for being extraordinarily organized.
Melinda learned that when Chris says, “No, I wanted that,” you simply move the thing and keep smiling.
She also attended a parade in Tsawwassen and enjoyed a Rotary contingent that was apparently extremely well organized.
And then there was the Japanese hockey friend whose firetruck featured a steak being cooked with a knife and fork.
Because apparently nothing says firefighting quite like barbecue.
Debbie T. — Theatre, Pride, Bubbles and the Biggest Hole on the Block
Debbie had another extremely busy week.
She attended shows, including The Merry Wives of Windsor, and enjoyed the Pride Parade with the school district.
The school district brought a giant electric school bus, decorated it, and then spent much of the day watching the decorations fall off.
But Debbie came prepared—with a bubble machine.
The crowd loved the bubbles.
One person who apparently did not was Dr. Fry, who was behind them and repeatedly requested that the bubbles stop hitting her in the face.
Debbie also attended Chris’s birthday/wedding and loved the beautiful backyard.
Then there is the ongoing saga on Debbie’s cul-de-sac, where a contractor managed to create a massive excavation that has been causing problems since February.
The city has finally stepped in.
At this point, Debbie's neighbourhood appears to have its own municipal construction project, heavy equipment division and documentary series.
Lawrence Chew — New Car, Theatre and an Adventure on the Island
Lawrence enjoyed The Merry Wives of Windsor with his work team and then picked up his new car.
Nothing says excitement quite like getting a new vehicle and immediately planning a road trip.
He was also preparing for a trip to the Island and Edmonton, followed by an Airbnb located at the end of someone’s property near the forest.
Which sounds either wonderfully peaceful or like the opening scene of a horror movie.
Sam — A Tournament Where Losing Was Surprisingly Consistent
Sam had his first tournament in eight years.
Unfortunately, the team demonstrated remarkable consistency:
They did not win every game, 3–0.
At least there was no confusion about the results.
Sam also participated in the parade, which apparently caused an anxiety attack, before being recruited for a CBC-related event where he helped out with a show involving a celebrity interview.
So the week went from “We lost 3–0” to “I’m helping backstage at CBC.”
That’s quite a recovery.
Maryam — The Summer Job That Turned Into Summer School
Maryam thought she had been working all summer.
Then she discovered that summer school was actually rather nice.
She is also looking forward to a trip to Toronto to visit her sister and attend a baby shower.
Her sister then decided to visit her instead.
So Maryam has discovered another universal truth:
Never tell family you have free time.
Her knee is apparently still sore, but she is soldiering on.
Bobby — The Basement Tenant and the Mystery of the Indian Food
Bobby spent time with his daughter and talked about his basement rental.
He has rented to several families over the years, and his current tenants are an Indian family.
The big news?
Indian cooking has apparently permeated the entire house.
Bobby may not cook Indian food himself, but thanks to his tenants, he is now enjoying the aromatic benefits whether he likes it or not.
He also got involved in the Rotary guessing game involving chocolates in a jar, and Michael came closest.
There was also one unfortunate line in the transcript suggesting Bobby may be renting his place for “cocaine.”
We are going to assume that was a transcription error and leave the matter with the Sergeant-at-Arms for further investigation.
Jeanette — Las Vegas, Digital Art and Contraband Filipino Snacks
Jeanette travelled with her 80-year-old mother and did a tremendous amount of walking—apparently with her mother keeping up admirably.
They visited a new Las Vegas attraction featuring immersive digital art, projections and sound.
There was also an opportunity to buy coffee, but customers were apparently limited to about ten minutes at the coffee table.
And then came the real cultural moment.
Food apparently wasn’t allowed inside.
Fortunately, Jeanette and her mother were Filipino.
As Jeanette explained, Filipinos always have something in the bag.
Rules are rules. Snacks are snacks.
Elena — Two Countries in Seven Days
Elena managed to visit two countries in seven days, travelling to San Francisco and Las Vegas.
In San Francisco, she visited her nephew and niece, who treated her like their mother.
There was also a trip to Napa Valley for wine and a birthday celebration.
Elena clearly has the family vacation formula perfected:
Arrive. Get treated like royalty. Drink wine. Visit family. Repeat.
Not a bad way to spend a week.
Amanda — Saskatchewan, Weddings, Babies and 1,000 Pelicans
Amanda returned from a road trip to Saskatchewan for her brother’s wedding.
The trip included plenty of interesting people, but the real highlight was a Sound of Music-themed birthday party for friends who had been trying to adopt for nine years.
They finally adopted three baby girls, which turned the party into a very special celebration.
Amanda also discovered some spectacular scenery around northern Saskatchewan and, for those interested in birds, reported that Echo Lake had more than 1,000 pelicans.
So if anyone is planning the next Rotary outing, Saskatchewan apparently has weddings, rolling hills, beautiful lakes and enough pelicans to form their own Rotary Club.
And, after a summer of travel and surprises, Amanda was simply happy to be back attending Rotary meetings in person.
And That, Ladies and Gentlemen, Is Why We Have the Sergeant-at-Arms
After hearing all of these reports, one thing is abundantly clear:
Nobody in this Rotary Club is sitting around doing nothing.
Our members are travelling internationally, attending weddings, celebrating birthdays, chasing grandchildren, watching soccer, riding bicycles, going to parades, attending theatre, playing golf, visiting wineries, surviving family reunions and fighting municipal construction projects.
And somehow, after all of that, they still manage to show up Thursday morning and tell us about it.
That, in itself, deserves a Rotary award.